And I shall name you Obsession

:::because it’s time to get real:::
(and you have yet to see my crazy...)

I strongly believe that the only real difference between being married to someone and being obsessed with them is a label. And a ring, I guess.

Whenever I am away from my husband, I am thinking about him. I think about his day and his blood sugar. I rehearse the conversations we have had and I think of new ones I think we will someday have. I consider the way his feet look, how his toes are naturally curled. I imagine a bear dancing and it brings me joy, because it reminds me of him.

I often joke (after my third drink) that I got married to escape "The Herpes". In reality, marriage saved me from way more than that (don’t worry, the herpes is a joke. I am a huge proponent of safe sex and I wasn’t that promiscuous). Marriage has saved me from heartbreak, from infatuation. I really, really, needed someone to love. I needed someone to devote everything to. And when I met hubs, he totally fulfilled that need. So now when I go to the grocery store and I can only think of what he might like to eat, or when I doodle his name on a post-it while on a boring sales call, or when I (totally creepster-ishly) run my finger around the outer lobe of his ear while he sleeps-- well, these actions are completely acceptable. Because somehow, I got this amazing creature to sign a legal contract that society validates as proof that we are a team.

I doubt that most marriages are this way but I wouldn’t trade my bi-polar, creepster love for my husband for anything. I really think if I knew his skin would grow back, that I might just bite parts of his body off for fun so that he would be with me all day. It is that intense, or that sick, whichever way you look at it.

Tonight I will return home and we will do our own things, separate from one another. We might go to a book store and roam about. We might lie on the couch and he will prop his feet against my chest, so we make a little pile of human. He will chase the dog across the living room and treat him like his very own son and I will watch them from the corner, smirking and fulfilled because he is mine.

::Man of my life::