Annoyance

I despise those women that go home and talk to their husbands and then dispense the knowledge they gained like they just traveled to the holy grail. You do not have all the answers. Your husband has no more answers than mine does. I wonder were these women go when they look for the truth—to the foot of the man they love? The whole process of love and marriage is so intense, that I feel like we lose ourselves along the way.

Choosing a spouse is much like a major purchase. Certainly, it is imperative that you find something intriguing and charming in the thing you are about to purchase (be it a house or a man);new windows, or strong arms, for example. It is imperative that you love your major purpose more than any of your friends or family because, after all, you are buying it. Choosing a house, just like choosing a spouse, is a long and drawn out process. You may find that you despise most houses, no matter how much potential they may have. Still other times you will find that you fall for a house, only to have another buyer grab it away from you. And occasionally, you will find yourself waiting so long for the process of buying the house to be complete that the commitment loses its appeal all together and you walk away, on to a more immediately available home.

Once you finally have your house, you feel so fulfilled. You want to scream to the world, “Look, look what I bought! I love it and it loves me and we will have a long and happy thirty year commitment together!”-- And it is right about there that the similarities between the purchase of a spouse and the buying of a house, end. And they end abruptly.

Sane, strong women do not go around asking their home what they should do with their lives, or conferring with the walls about the predicament of their close friends.
“Wall, I just feel that she is so delusional on this. Why would she not want the same things I do? Why is she waiting for this unavailable man, why is she chasing dead end dreams. Please give me advice that I can then dispense immediately back to her?”

The women on our favorite sitcoms, the women we are told to envy and manipulate, do not sit down in the middle of their living room and wait for advice from the ceiling to pour upon them. But these very same women—the ones on tv, at our workplaces, in our bridge clubs—-they go straight home to their other major purchase and covet every single word the man (or partner) says.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband. He was the best “purchase” I ever made. And there was a time, say from the ages of 22-23 that I coveted everything he told me as fact, as truth, as pure, gifted knowledge. But soon after a year or so of marriage, I got the freak over that shit. Your husband knows no more than you do on general subjects. Certainly, he is a guru in the subject he specializes in--be it tools, computer graphics, financials --but he is not a wealth of knowledge on every subject under the sun.

That is my soapbox. This is my point. Be proud of your mate--he was probably a darn good purchase. But know that dispensing the knowledge he gives you back to your friends is probably not the best idea. Take his opinion and advice as you would that of your friends or Oprah, mix it with critical thought and believe in your own thoughts. After all, you were analytical enough to make a great purchase on your own.